Boys, have I got
news for — Alvin!
Put some clothes on! Technically, Dave,
fur is our clothes. And it’s not a shirt.
It’s a [bleep] nightgown! Oh, shut up, boys! I just booked you
for this year’s Coachella. [ All cheering ] Are we on the main stage? Uh, no. Ooh, the Gobi Tent? -Eh, no.
-Mojave Tent? No, boys. The “butthole packed
with sand” tent? Alvin!
That’s not a real tent! [ Laughter ] ♪♪ [ Insects buzzing,
bird cries ] Guess the joke’s on me. This is an outrage! I’m going to complain
to the promoter right now! Okay, I’m off
on poon patrol. “10-4, good buddy.
I got an APB on poon, preferably
a trust-fund baby with an appropriated
Native American headdress, over”. Krrrk! No, damn it! The band’s supposed
to be onstage right now! Gorillaz — with a “Z”! Wait. Then who’s
onstage right now? Gorillas, with an “S”! [ Gorillas grunting ] [ People cheering ] And their rider
was bananas! Well, they are gorillas. [ Laughs ] Stick with my “B” story
for more laughs just like that one. Oh, chipmunks. Wow, I can’t believe I’m
making out with Selena Gomez! Wow, I can’t believe
I’m making out with Alvin! I’m not Alvin. You know I’m not Selena Gomez,
the singer, right? I might have racial
face blindness. I always feel
so creatively stifled. Do you have any advice on how to
be “the cute one” in the band? Buddy, I’ve got
bad news for you. You’re the biggest
Ringo I’ve ever seen! Paul is supposed to be dead!
Again! [ Groaning ] Excuse me, have you seen
three giant chipmunks wearing nightgowns…
“Thom”? It’s pronounced “Tom”. -“Yorkie”.
are you okay, man? Either I’m on LSD, or those Dippin’ Dots
were seriously expired. Two things can be true
at once. ♪♪ This sucks!
Nobody’s paying attention! Don’t worry, fellas.
I have an ace up my sleeve! Holograms are so in
right now. Ladies and gentlemen,
presenting the newest member of “The Chipmunks”,
here’s Beat-munk! Yeah, Beat-munk,
here to bop, bop, bop! [ People cheering ] Bop that! Bop that! [ Indistinct chatter ] Yeah! Boys, you might have
played the smallest tent, but you’re social media
is blowing up! You’re a hit! And Beat-munk even got signed to —
T-Tidal? [ Paper thuds ] And most importantly, I tore through a metric ton
of freaky music festival trim. [ Sighs ] Alvin, I’m afraid
I have some bad news. You have gonorrhea of the ear,
nose, and throat. Alvin! Ugh, you know what? This festival has taught me
a great lesson about loosening up. From now on, just call me
“Good Time Dave.” Okay, “Good Time Dave”, gonorrhea is fatal
in chipmunks. Too bad it wasn’t fatal
in “Monkees”. [ Clicks tongue ]
Ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-kow! [ Chuckles ]
Do you get it? They were a rival band
of ours. ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk