Family Guy – Retarded Horse

Family Guy – Retarded Horse

[now] where have you been [you] left for the market six hours ago. Did you get the beans LOuis? I got something better. [you] know how you always wanted a real diamond engagement ring. Oh my God. That’s right I bought a horse You bought a horse. [why’d] I have it? I don’t [even] give you that much money. That’s what I got Louis Peter There’s something off about that horse you [have] an eye for animals. Well, what’s this horse’s brain damage? That’s why I got it. So cheap Peter, I don’t think it’s wise to have a brain-damaged toss of a house pet shut up, you don’t know nothing about anything Whatever Peter fine Keep the horse good this family works much better when we’re unified you’ll see this horse will be a fine addition to our family You know what I don’t want him to feel self-conscious everybody pee pee now everybody pee now We’re an unusual family You know what is it crime is Paul Sorvino standing behind me hey, you want a sugar Cube horsey Oh called Ryan. Don’t What made you come around Lois? Hmm. I love you so much I Love you so much Lois. Oh, my my hair tell peter Peter take maple drive, otherwise we won’t make the movie [on] time all right Uh-oh, what is it ah the horse is right behind the car? Peter that thing is just creepy Hey skip skip fine. You wake up. We’re going to see a movie. All right. I’m gonna try something else No, no, no no no no oh That’s got all my stink of the day in it That’s nasty Tina why are there so many bottles of milk in the refrigerator? [oh], thanks for reminding me everyone some of the milk in the fridge is not milk. It’s horse sperm. I’m a horse [breeder] now Peter no, one’s gonna want to breed [with] that horse after tomorrow day well I’m gonna enter him in a quahog derby, and he’s gonna win. [I] just know it I got a sixth sense about these things remember when I predicted the ending the wild hogs this movie’s Gonna check Hey there, Little fella. I’m 48 This whole place is a giant mine Boy, I never been in the owners box. [we] are gonna get a great view of the track from up here It’s Gonna be a great race What are you doing get down there? Where’s your midget? Sorry boss had to pee come on you? Jesse’s got a small bladder [ha] ha ha ha little tiny guy gotta go all the time ha ha ha even though He’s got a race. He couldn’t hold it I’m eric [yo] are they go. [God] it even runs like it’s messed up in the head You named your horse tell zach you know why [cuz] I’m [gonna] take this horse and shove it down America’s throat What’s this it looks like [he’ll] death has taken a right turn and is heading into the stand [fear] [God] I could describe the horror I am witnessing but it is so unfathomably ugly and heart-rending that I cannot bring myself to do so although I do possess the necessary Descriptive powers, oh well at least the horse ran past the class of visiting deaf second graders. Oh, no dear. God. He’s going back Oh, I know you can’t hear any screams, but I assure you They are signing [frantically] just as fast as their little fingers can [shake] the complicated phonemes necessary to convey dread and terror Wait a sec hold the phone. He’s going back towards the track fellows this race ain’t over yet [it’s] over $100,000 worth of damage [all] thanks to that stupid [hoe] [I] [see] yours well can we not talk about the horse please It’s gone it suffered a fatal heart attack from the excitement, and I dispose of it properly Oh boy. [I] miss the old days when [it] was just a flaming bag of poop and a hurtful note

99 thoughts on “Family Guy – Retarded Horse

  1. Fuck family guy, they reconned this episode to be more politically correct. The original line is "You have an eye for animals. This horse is *retarded*"

  2. Diaaamonf Emengagement riinhhggg ?!!,,.‘x
    Welel ii boigghtt aaa hoeursssee?!??!?!

  3. Peter: "You know, how you always wanted a real, diamond engagement ring?"
    Lois: "oh my god!"
    Peter: "Thats right! I bought a h o r s e. "

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