Margie Goldstein-Engle Tells Dad Jokes

Margie Goldstein-Engle Tells Dad Jokes


I know one that takes a little bit of a long
time to tell… It’s not that funny, but it’s clean. He goes to the bartender and asks for a drink. And the first one says, “Hey, I’m sorry. We don’t serve strings.” They’re like, “That’s not fair!” So the second string has an idea. He says, “You know what? I’m going to go in a disguise.” So he goes out back and ties himself in a
knot and he frays himself at both ends. He walks up to the bartender and he says,
“Can I have a drink?” “Are you sure you’re not a string?” He says, “I’m afraid not!” Husband and wife are getting married. The husband says to the wife, “Before we get
married, I want you to remember: I’m the man of the family and I wear the pants.” And she goes, “Okay, smart guy.” She hands him… her panties. She goes, “Here, put these on.” He says, “What?” “Just do it. Put these panties on.” And he’s trying and trying. He goes, “These are too small. I can’t get into these.” She goes, “Remember that. You never will until you learn to change that
attitude of yours!” It’s borderline… Okay, there’s this horse and a snail at the
bar and they’re talking back and forth both saying about who’s faster. Finally, the snail says, “Okay, why don’t
we go race?” And the horse says, “No problem. I’ll race you anytime.” But, he says, “I’ve got to go get a car. I want a Ferrari and Imma paint a great, big S on the side of it. And when we go running down the road I want
everyone to look at me and say: ‘Look at that S Car Go!’ Okay, for all you horse enthusiasts out there, let’s
see if we can stump ya… What’s a horse’s hind legs doing if their
front legs are going 45 miles an hour? They’re hauling ass!

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