Oh, snookie dookie. “Snookie dookie” is a new word
that I’ve been using a lot lately. The word I use
when I get excited. And today, I am excited.
I’m excited because I’m picking up
Leslie jones. ( laughter ) – What up, lady?
– What’s up, man? – Let me put my seatbelt on
because your ass can’t drive,
– You gotta have a seatbelt on. I know you can’t drive.
How are you even reaching – the pedals?
– How the– ( laughs ) Hey,
first thing’s first, I picked you up because
I’m embracing the fact that you’ve taken on
this new healthy lifestyle. Yes. I do,
I do, I do like doing it. I do– I like the way
it makes me look. It goes so much more
beyond that. It’s– not for me. I’m very conceited. – Okay.
– It’s only muscles. – Leslie, that’s–
– Muscles and physique for me. – Okay, I get it–
– The health benefits– – I’m about to be 50
– Okay. – and about to die.
– Okay. You’re, you’re not about to die,
Leslie, okay? Hey, hey,
let me tell you something. – I am half of a hundred.
– Okay. I am two 20s
and a ten. – You don’t have to add 50 up
– I am five ten… – in different ways.
– dollar bills. – You reach a number 50.
– I am 25 – $2 bills.
– I, I get the– ( laughter ) 200 quarters. ( laughter ) So today,
we’re going to a ranch. – Ranch?
– Yeah, ranch. – Like with cowboys and stuff?
– Hay, hay, horses. Cowboys are nine times
out of ten in shape. I wanna know how
to get them thighs. Leslie, I think that is–
that is more of something that you got
in your head, okay? That’s…
that’s what you… That’s what I watch
when I see the rodeo, they– when they come out
and they just squeeze in them thighs
just be in them jeans, just pulsating through. Let’s find out
who does that. I feel like we should
at least look the part. – Let’s embrace the culture.
– I want cowboy boots.( music playing )Oh, wee,
this is serious. – Kevin: How are you man?
– Man: I’m doing very well, – thank you.
– We’re about to go to a ranch and we just don’t wanna come in
like we don’t belong – at the ranch.
– So how can I assist you? But we don’t wanna look like
tourists either. So… Okay. Come on over here
and we’ll show you what we have. – This is for you right here?
– No, no, Leslie. – That’s yours right here,
– It’s as a matter of– That’s you, like,
that fit Kevin. That’s not, Leslie,
what you’re doing is ridiculous, just put that–
That’s obviously a baby’s top.
It’s a bit– – That’s still a baby’s top–
– It’s really cute though. but it’s not– I’m not
doing this with you.( music playing )( snickers ) – There we go.
– But it’s not very country western,
that’s kind of Compton. That’s straight,
like, on Crenshaw, – you about to get shot.
– You’re feeling confident – about everything.
– That one got some glitter in it. ( laughs ) Definitely get the one
with the glitter. Oh, my God.
Man, you’re gonna look like – one of the village people.
– I’m gonna look like a real cowboy.
All right, sir, – this, this shirt for me.
– I got to find something. – Hey, now.
– ( gasps ) You look dope! I ain’t even playing
with you right now. Ooh, mother ( bleep ) give me a buckle! – So which one go– this goes–
– That one – ’cause of the purple.
– Yeah, I’m about to throw – this on now.
– Did you try everything on? Yeah! We’re about to
become cow people. Ooh-whoo!( music playing )( laughing ) You look like
a little girl! You look like you about to go
to a bachelorette party and say,
“Hey, anybody want some cowboy?” Ha! The ( bleep ) belt, son! You know what? When they look at me, – and they give me the look–
– Oh, they not gonna let you on the ranch,
they will be like, – Shit.
– “Who is this little girl?” Funniest shit
I’ve ever seen in my life. Oh, my god.( music playing )He’s just a little
miniature cowboy. ( laughter )( music playing )Oh, shit. I’m starting to smell it. ( fly buzzing) Wait a minute.
Wait a minute,I don’t wanna park there,
there’s a whole bunch – of shit right there.
– Oh, my God, it is. That’s like,
who shitted that much?And why is it
in one pile?Are you in the shit or you’re not
in the shit? Hey, let me see. Man, I’m close enough
to the shit. – ( bleep ) is happening?
– ( laughing ) Man, if you hit
that cow with that door, that cow gonna
( bleep ) you up, Kev. Hey, Kev, man, ( bleep )
this parking space, man. – No, we ain’t got–
– ( bleep ) this shit. Hey, hey, you got me–
got us between cow
and horse shit. – Hey, over here. Oh, my God.
– This is some bullshit. Park us between… they parked
us between shit and a cow. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
Hold on. – What kind of–
– ( cow moos ) Man, the cow is mooing too,
he gonna mess you up, man. I’m gonna get a picture
of you getting the shit kicked out of you
by that cow. Hey. The nuts are in–
are serious. That’s not nuts. Yo,
I’ll tell you what, don’t step in none
of this cow shit and think you’re gonna
get in my car. Man, this smell
like straight visceral. – Hey, hey, hey.
– Welcome to Gibson Ranch. – How are you, man?
– My name is Dale. – Hey, Dale, I’m Kevin.
– Hey, Kevin. – How you doing?
– Hey, man, how you doing? Hello, gorgeous,
how are you? How you doing?
Can I touch him? This is Gunner,
go ahead. – What’s the name?
– Hi, gunner. This is gunner.
He’s my roping horse. – Hi, beautiful.
– Dale: That’s Dan. I hear you’re gonna
help me, uh, put a workout
on them and you. – Hell yeah, look,
we are here to embrace.
– Good. – Okay?
– What do we have to do? – We’re gonna wash him.
– Can somebody get rid – of the boo-boo is
what I’m trying to say.
– All right. Now, come on, we got a lot of work to do today
if we’re gonna get – a good workout.
– Is there any way – to get that out of the way.
– All right. We not gonna– we just–
we just gonna walk – around the boo-boo.
– Oh, oh, no. Come on! Come on, man! Come on,
dookie boot. You not gonna get
that off your boot? – How about we wash you first?
– What? Yeah, exactly. – There you go, salty.
– ♪ Salty ♪ There you go. – Scrub hard.
– ♪ He’s getting a shower ♪ – Scrub on, scrub off.
– ♪ Salty and then ♪ ♪ We’re gonna
wash him ♪ – You missed a spot here.
– ( fly buzzing) – Whoa, his butt?
– Come on, – we got to get his butt.
– What? Come on,
use the other arm. Come on, we got
to get him clean. – Right there in the ass.
– Salty is saying “Go ahead.” Leslie:
Salty is saying
“go ahead.” ( laughs ) All right, Salty,
here we go. Oh, all up
in the ass, – right there.
– ( horse whinnies ) Oh, yeah, Salty says,
“Yeah. Get–” Whoo! – That feel good to you, Salty!
– Yeah. – Salty a freak.
– You see how salty is a straight freak. All right.
Good job. Now comes the fun part. We’re gonna brush, uh, we’re gonna brush
with the hair. If you see a little
dirty spot, go against the hair, – and brush with it.
– Kevin: Okay. I wish I had somebody
to brush me like this every day. And they would need
two brushes, too. ( laughs ) – Leslie.
– What? I just gave
my horse waves. – What– how?
– ‘Cause I brushed it. Get it? That’s kind of
racist, Kev. I don’t get it. It’s a black horse. – Cowboy Dale don’t get that.
– I don’t get it. – Black people get waves, Dale.
– Gunner, Gunner – and Dan did not get that joke.
– Cowboy. Do you got a wave cap
for one of these horses? See, you just gonna keep
cracking that joke. You just gonna keep going
for that one until it works? Hey, one of
those cameras get my arms
while I do this.( music playing )( babbles ) Your guns
do look good – doing that, man.
– Well, I just look like – a cowboy.
– That’s right. You got to help me there
because I’m not tall enough – to get on the other side.
– ( laughs ) – Oh, shit.
– Is it heavy? – Yeah.
– Close. ( grunting ) There you go. Okay. All right. Did you see that? I know why
you gave me Gunner. – Okay.
– ‘Cause I got guns. – You are…
– ( laughing ) Now we’re gonna do a little
cowboy workout with a rope. Reed!
( whistles )( music playing )What the hell do y’all
be doing on this farm? – You ready?
– That’s creepy. – That’s my son, Reed.
– That’s kind of creepy, homie. – Howdy, Reed.
– This is a great learning tool, – the hot heels.
– ( grunts ) – Wait…
– Come on. You know, we could’ve just
walked around. That’s part of
the exercise. Don’t know when
this turned into the WWF. I’m saying. What is this?
We wrestling now? – I mean…
– We got… – tight-ass jeans.
– This is so un-ladylike. These jeans ain’t loose
enough, are they? Come out here, baby. ( snickers ) Oh, shit. You got it.
Just take a second. Dale:
You are a city girl,
aren’t you? ( Kevin laughs ) – Ready?
– Yeah. Come on, cowgirl,
let’s go. Kevin:
Get it, Leslie. Come on, Leslie. Kevin:
Leslie, Leslie! Les– Leslie! – Get it, Les.
– Come on, you’re not that late, Les. Kevin:
Leslie. – Kevin: No, Leslie!
– Dale: You almost had it! What happened? Let’s go! Rope it down,
rope it down! – I’m on your ass!
– ( Leslie laughing ) I got him! Les, I’m about to
let it go! Goddamn it! God damn! ( laughter ) I want one more. If anybody know anything
about old K. Hart, it’s that I don’t lose! I don’t ever lose. Dale:
You ready cowboy? On three. That’s your ass. One… two… three, let’s go!( music playing )( slow motion )
Come on, Kevin! Goddamn it,
stinking bitch. God… stupid ( bleep )! – Goddamn it!
– Leslie: Don’t kick the rope. The rope ain’t
did nothing to you! The rope ain’t did
nothing wrong! The rope– it’s not
the rope’s fault, – it is your fault!
– Yeah, man. – No, leave the rope alone!
– Hey, hey. Leave the rope alone! – ( laughs )
– Kevin: Shit. Damn it!
Oh, my God. – I’ll tell you what…
– That’s a hell – of a workout right?
– This shit here like running – in the sand, cuz.
– It’s just like running – in the sand,
and with cowboy boots on, too?
– Yeah.( music playing )Dale:
Now, sometimes when
you don’t rope very good… – Yeah.
– …you got to take the bull by the horns,
you know what I’m saying? – Kevin: Okay.
– This is the best core workout you’re ever gonna have. Reed’s gonna show you
how you’re gonna hook it with your right arm,
put your fist to your chin, put your left arm
and push down on that horn, and slide on the balls
of your feet, and just let me
drag you along. You ready, Reed?( music playing )Whoo-hoo! He look like he holding on
for his life. Uh, yeah. – Oh, I’m not doing that.
– Kevin: Okay. ( laughs ) Can I get on the tractor
while you’re driving it? I just wanna be able
to cheer him on. All right.
Will my wife see this? Dawg, that’s okay.
You tell you wife we good. – All right.
– You remember how to do – your arms, right?
– I tell you what I know how to do,
let go if something ain’t right. ( laughter ) Make sure your
hat’s on, cowboy. – You ready?
– Let’s go, Kevin! ( engine starts ) ( cheering ) Bend in it,
you gotta bend! Hold on tight,
Kevin! Yes, get it! – Yeah! Whoo!
– Yeah! Whoa! – Yes!
– Whoo! Go, Kevin! Oh, shit! – Yes!
– Oh, shit! Whoo-hoo! I got this bitch! – I got this bitch, Les!
– Yes! – Go! Go!
– I got this bitch! I got it, Les! Yippie ki-yay! Yippie
ki-yay! Whoo!( gunshots )Oh, my God, Kevin,
you did so good. I made that bull
my bitch. – Yes, you did.
– You saw it. – Yes, that was so dope.
– Good job, cowboy. – You a cowboy, right?
– I don’t wanna tell you all, I’ve been– I’ve been…
Yeah, – I’ve been–
– Stop talking… – wrestling steers for years.
– No, no, no. Not with that belt
and the glitter. That’s the one thing
that I knew about. I will say this,
good job, cowboy. – Leslie: Yeah, cowboy!
– Dale: Yeah, you were awesome – out there, man. That was…
– Damn right, I did. Is that a cowboy
workout or what? – Listen.
– That was– man, y’all are serious. – Ah!
– That’s how y’all
get them legs.( music playing )All right.
You guys ride off into the sunset
and we’ll see you later. – I’ll see you later.
– Thank you, Dale, Cowboy Dale. – Me and Gunner got a new thing.
– ♪ Yippie ki-yo ♪ ♪ I’m a cowgirl
and I’m a yippie ki-yo ♪ Leslie:
This the first time
you ever been on a horse? Kevin:
I’m a renaissance man, Les. I’ve done
a bunch of shit. Leslie:
Can you spell “renaissance”? – No.
– ( laughing ) Kevin:
This is Kevin Hart.If you thought
that was funnythen click the videos
to watch more.You can also subscribe
to my YouTube channel,“Laugh Out Loud.”Do it,
just click the logo.( heart beating )( music playing )( musical chime )