SKATE


WHAT IS UP MY CRANKY CREW! It’s Ethan from CrankGameplays and today we are here in some–*knocking on door* The fuck is that? *knocking a yelling continue* Ethan: Who’s here? Ethan: Hey– Parker: *in skater boi voice* Sup Dude! Happy Birthday! Wanna go skateboards? Ethan: How did you find out where I live? Parker: *still in skater boi voice* Doesn’t worry I’ve been following you for a couple of days P: I’ve been hanging out here for like 6 days, dude you never leave your apartment. Do you wanna go snow boarding but with the wheels on them? E: Uhhhh E: Skateboarding, I don’t know my knees are pretty bad P: *in skater boi voice* That’s OK mine are bad because of it P: *in skater boi voice*They’re all bloody and broken. Do you feel like maybe touching the sky but in your mind?*awkward smile/grin* E: Uhhh, I’ve got – I’ve got a lot of stuff to do like I got videos to make and- P: No chance videos for what website Vimeos? E: Nah. P: Car Boys? E: No, uh– P: Maybe Twitter? Twitter videos? E: No- E: I’ve got to pay my taxes and- P: Who needs taxes when you have taxing wheels! *Wheels spin* *Laughter* P: *in skater boi voice* Nah dude no way. It’s always a day for skating Fails in
3… 2… 1… Ethan: *in skater boi voice* Sick dude! P: *in skater boi voice* still not very good at it P: Ethan. Ethan. Ethan. Ethan. Oh P: Ethan come on it’s my favorite shoe store it’s time to go! Come Here! Come Here! Come!! E: Parker, I don’t- P: It’s my favorite skate shop! Come here. Look! E: Parker, I think they’re closed. *Le sad* P: *Whines* Ethan, they’re not. Don’t tell me this. E: It looks- P: It’s just, it’s just a barrier. It’s just- E: It looks kinda like it’s closed dude I don’t think- I don’t think you can get in there. P: Do you open your eyes? When you open your eyes? Worker Man™ Talks P: Do you think we could have a board with our eyes closed? I can see in the dark. Worker Man™ Talks E: Parker… Parker, what are you doing? P: Nothin’. nothin’, E: Skate shop is closed. What do you wanna do? P: You still wanna do skateboarding stuff? E: Yeah I guess we come out here. So we might *Parker claps* as well. P: I got an idea P: Let’s go to the Circle Store come with me! E: The “Circle Store”? P: Ethan! Ethan! Circle Store! Excuse me sir. More important things in the matter P: Exit. Exit. Move! P: Come, come, come with me, come with me. Come here, quick quick quick quick- Dude these are the best boards in town. They got the speed dermins, they got the plastic boards with the face on them. Dude these are so good! E: I- I don’t know if this is like a real skate shop… P: It is everytime watch look Circle Board Brands are some of the best brands in town. I own this establishment. You should trust me. Watch this I could do a kick-flip every time watch this! *Board clatters around* P: Try it. try it! P: Dude P: Dude. E: Dude. P: Dude! (Awwwwww) (Ewwwww) P: Gross, Ethan! E: Incredible. P: Ethan. E: Incredible. P: Bad Ethan. E: I didn’t know that you could have these boards like that. P: Dude, everytime, I’m telling you. E: My lives have been changed! My life has been completely changed. P: Your life is more than your oceans are. E: My lines have been completely changed. P: Here this one called the “Flying in the Oceans”. E: Okay, do it, do it, do it, do it. P: That’s a pretty good one. Bearings are excellent on this bad boy. P: Hello, sir.
Another Worker Man™: Hi. P: Can I ask you a few questions about this board?
Another Worker Man™: Yeah! P: Where do you do- Would you consider yourself a boarder as well? Another Worker Man™: Yeah. P: Do you know if the grip tape is made out of human skin? Or is that some that happens afters? Another Worker Man™: Uh, they process the skin first and then they put it on. P: That makes more sense than anything. P: Do you know if the design was made by an elephant? P: Or if that was just– Another Worker Man™: Uhh Tony Hawk, actually made this one. P: Get out of town, Tony Hawk built this with his bare hands? Another Worker Man™: Yeah. P: Don’t even question me Another Worker Man™: *Laughs* P: I think you’re the big fat liar P: We should fire you from the Circle Brand place. That’s cool. You’re fired. I own it. “Undercover Boss” The whole time. E: PARKER! Parker, it’s closed! E: Parker, it’s closed! It won’t open [Clink] they put the chains around it! E: They put real, real chains around it! E: Unbreakable! E: Untaintable! [Clink, clink] E: Unralcable! The CHAINS! [Clink] E: They’re… E: YOU CANT PUT CHAINS AROUND MY DREAMS! P: I came here to skate today… P: Swores on the day of my life. P: *in skater boi voice* Dude I came here to skate! P: *in skater boi voice* ‘Cause SKATING IS WHAT I’M MADE FOR! P: I cant do something that I’m not made for? I cannot be here. I cannot be here right now. P: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSORRY P: I’m sorry for this, but I must tell you… P: That I must go. P: I can’t kiss you if you’re too far away from me. I will kiss you on the–right on the mouth- E: Parker, I’m right here. P: Oh, hey, Ethan. E: Hey. P:Sorry just monologueing. E: We can’t skate here. P: That’s okay. I didn’t really want to anyway today. P: Maybe we should just stick with playing video games E: Wanna go back and play video games? P: Okay E: Okay, let’s go E: Hop on. *Skateboard boner* *Laughing* E: Alright, so this is the way that we’re gonna do it… E: We’re gonna play a game of “Skate” so I’m gonna do a trick. P: Cool. E: Like this like a kick-flip. P:That’s not bad- E: And you have to try and do the same– you’ve never played this game before. P: Never played this game before. E: Oh, no, you’re gonna get shhhit. *Laughter* P: Gonna be real bad alright. E: So… P: We’re just a couple test rounds. E: Okay yeahyeahyeah P: Lemme just murder my girl real quick. E: Okay so the way that you do it is you flip the stick usually left one… P: Wah! E: And then P: AW, NICE! E: So, if you want to do a kick-flip you pull that one down and then immediately back up. The uh right stick. P: Right stick–okay. P: Oh, okay E: Yep P: And then I do just a little E: There you go, so the way that you move the stick is the way that you do different tricks P: Oh… E: Do you feel confident? P: I feel so not confident! E: So you can start because you… P: Are ya ready? Are ya ready for this? E: Yep P: Do you know how to play this game? E: Yeah, P: Should I teach you? E: I have like– P: So you press– E I wouldn’t be surprised if I had like 400 hours– P: Really? E: Like this game, I’ve had since I was like 15 or 16 years old P: Whoa!
E: and, And I like just played it all the time when I was really into it, but also This is a game that I just like pop on while I like export videos. P: Sure! E: And that I just, like, mess around in P: Dude, so I give you any trick and you could probably do it? E: Maybe. P: Let’s try E: *Belches in Australian accent* Yeah try it out bubba, am I roight? P: I’m gonna do one called push– “Push Man.” Where you do this… P: All right your turn. E: OKAY E: Oooo, you can do another trick. P: Alright, alright, alright… E: Oh a Pop Shuvit P: Pop Shuvit. Piece of cake. E: Okay, okay. P: It’s all you buddy. E: Okay P: And for those you don’t know “Skate” is it’s basically “Horse” with the basketball– E: There we go. P: Where you have to, like, do tricks and P: If you missed the trick– Did you do it? E: Yup. P: Okay is it my turn again? E: Yup. P: Oh, alrightalrightalright. P: Here we go Oh! *Various “Oh”ing* P: Varial Heelflip. E: Not I might not actually be able to get because the Varial Heelflips are really hard! P: Dude. I’m so good at this game. E: Varial Heelflip 180… P: But essentially if you miss this– E: AW! I did a hard flip… P: You messed it. S for you. E: GIVE ME AN S P: If you get a full “SKATE” then that means you were that means you lose. E: To kill me in the middle of the night. P: Done (Parker noooo) P: *Weird moan* P: *PFBBBBBT*
E: Huhhuhuh E: A pretty sick 180! P: Yes well– E: If you want to get off your board and walk press triangle. P: Nah. E: Okay… You can do another trick, if you want. P: AlrightAlrightAlriaghtAlright.
E: OkayOkay… P: Don’t condensed me, Mr. Wayne. E: OOH Variable Heelflip 180! P: I can’t… E: You already did one of those! P: Alright I’ll do a different tick… E/P: Oh! A Late Shuvit! P: I did that on purpose! E: That’s fun. P: And… E: NO. Clean Ollie– I’ll give you another chance. E: I– No! P: I’ll give you one more chance. I’ll give you one more time.
E: Oh my God P: I’ll give you one more chance. E: There we go. P: OH, OH YOU DID IT! E: Late Shuvit. P: I totally didn’t think you were going to do it! Alright… E: Yeah, no. P: I shouldn’t have given you another chance. E: I’ll gives me another letter because I didn’t make it the first two times P: I’ll give you – I’ll give you a helper. A Hamburger Helper. E: Okay! P: Okay… P: Then I’m… Gonna do somethin’ different… E/P: WHOOOOOA. P: I don’t know what that was! E: I think it was an – nuuuuuhhh… P: Nollie Heelflip? E: A Nollie Heelflip… P: 180? E: 180. P: Oh… This makes me feel good! E: There we go. P: This is also means I ska– Did you do it? E: Yeah. P: You totally did it?E: Yep I did it. P: What?! E: I did an Nolli– I’ll do it again. P: Alright. P: WHAT!!? E: I didn’t have– that was a Varial. P: Yeah not quite! E: But I- I did do it. P: I believe you. DUDE. E: *in skater boi voice* There we go dude! P: *Not in skater boi voice* You’re a talented boy! E: You’re a Teh-teh-theh- terri-terrible boy! P: You’re… You’re tearing up the city! E: I-Ight set the trick brraaaaaaaahh P: Don’t worry about it. I was just practicing! E: Just practicin’! P: I call this one “The Man’s Got An Escape Ins His Hearts” E: “Man’s Got a Scapegoat.” P: Done. P: Just a small Ollie.
E: [weird noises] P: This is my one chance
E: Alright. P: One opportunity…
E: TO SEIZE EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED!!! P: An Nollie Late Heelflip. E: Okay. P: 180. Okay E: So a late Nollie Heelflip 180. P: I know what all those words mean. E: NO!! P: *Le gasp* E: I didn’t do it. I did a Nollie Heelflip 180, not a late one! P: Are you a S-K-A? E: I think I’m a S-K-A. P: Dude! E: I’ll try it again P: Alright here we go. Let’s make them a little bit. E: Okay P: Let’s do some of some tricks over here. P: I’m gonna do… P: How do I grind? One of these? E: You just hop on pop. P: You just hop hop hop hop it on? E: Hop it on. P: Hoppin popper… P: W H A T! *Both amazed* *Ethan laughs nervously* *Parker joins in wheeze laughing* P: Good luck! E: *Laughing* Oh-oh-oh-kay… E: I don’t even know. Did I just dab? P: You did! E: I kinda just dabbed a little bit. P: So it’s a Varial Heelflip, onto the thing sideways. E: *Weird noise* P: *PFBBBBBT*
E: *Laughs* Nope! E: S-K-A-T! E: I… have hundreds of hours in the game, and you’re beating me! P: You have SKAT! E: Oh there’s poop in my shoooesss P: Plus you had to re-create like the most ridiculous tricks of all time.
E: *Moans* P: Alright here we go. Here’s the final one. E: Alright. P: I played Skate today with Captainsparklez in real life. E: Did you? P: You can tell like my face is sunburned and I lost lost so terribly. E: Ohhhh nnooo P: Teach me a weird one. E: Okay… P: So you got like a… a swoopie swoop? E: That was pretty cool E: That was a Heelflip Underflip E: So… E: That’s pretty good! E: So if you do this… If you take it like this P: Uh-huh. E: Like that to bring it over here And then go around and then up… P: Oh! E: And you’ll
do — you’ll start to do doubles of things. E: So if you go like around then up, and then you’ll do a 360 flip. P: So you can do like… ONE OF THESE. E: Yes, exactly like that. P: Thank you I’ve been practicing. E: ‘Zactly! I’ve been practicing for years! P: I’ve been practicin… P: *Singing* I wish I was king of all…. E: Oh, that would have been cool P: I failed. E: That would have been cool. P: Now you’re going to destroy me. E: I’m gonna set the trick. P: You’re at SKAT right now and now I’m gonna… E: I’m gonna come back for you. P: Nah. E: I’m ready for you to go man. P: Come halp me! Don’t mess up! P: W H A T! E: 360 Flip 360! P: 360 Flip 360!? Piece of cake. I know how to do that one! E: Okay! P: Alright here we go. E: Have a go at that one. P: I’m gonna go in and do a practice round. P: Oh that — she landed on it, and then just fell. *Ethan laughs* P: Give it a quick little kiss! E: Go *kisses air* P: She’s practicing her evil powers. E: Do it do it do it do it do it do it E: Well, hey you didn’t do it, but you got close! P: I did something! E: So you have an S now. P: I have an S. E: S for… E: Ssssssssssssssssssssssssss *Ethan still going* P: S, for sorry I’m bad! E: Sssssssssssalt. P: All that for salt. *Coping Ethan* Ssssssssssss
E: S is for Saaalt
P: Salty E: Alright ready? Ready to FAIL again? P: Don’t be so mean to me Ethan. E: Don’t be so porous. P: Don’t hurt my Hhcart (Heart) like this. E: EEETHAN! P: Ethan! No BAD! E: Baaad! P: Bad Ethan! Oh I’m scared… P: Here we go. Ooooooh, baby! E: Oh that wasn’t even that cool. E: It was an Nollie Inward Heelflip 180. P: Nollie Inward Heelflip 180. I don’t know how to do that. I’m gonna try it… E: So you’ll do this
P: Aaannnd… P: *PFFFFFBT*
E: Hey pretty good! P: Thank you!
E: You did it! You did it! You did it! E: So you’re at S-K P: S-K, I just need to fall so I can just do a crazy trick and win. E: Ready? P: Yeah, yeah, oh! P: Kick-flip? E: Front Kick-flip 180. P: I can do a Kick-flip! E: I bet you can do it. P: Dude. E: I bet you could do it. You’re in an Ollie just letting you know. E: You did a 360, you’re at SKA! E: You’re in a SKA band, that’s so out of style!
P: Oh, c’mon! E: Awww help me! P: Dude this might be it for me. This might be the final one. E: An Ollie 360 Heelflip. P: No, big deal. No big deal. E: You’ve got it. P: I’ve got–I’ve got something follow it. E: Go ahead Moight (Mate) E: You didn’t do it. P: BOOM. E: We’re tied now. P: You think you can touch this?
E: OH I WISH I COULD TOUCH YOU! P: Don’t you can’t it’s against the law E: OH NO! P: I have one chance. Don’t mess this up, Parker, don’t tak to myself!! E: *Still freaking out* OH NOOO! P: ETHAN!!! I need to prove myself in front of the Cranky Crew. E: Prove it! P: Okay, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here– P: Just immediately falls
E: Just immediately *Pssh*
P: *Pssh* P: Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright. P: An Ollie onto here and then… E: *Inhales sharply*
P: OOOOOOAW! P: WOOOOOO P: I think that was it I– E: Wait, did you do a turn? P: I did at 180 as well. I think it was… I’m gonna say this “Hardflip… Late Pop Shuvit 180.” I think it’s what it was I don’t remember because I did not… I cannot read E: Okay E: I think it was Kick-flip Late Shuvit 180 P: Okay. I’ll give you three attempts. E: Oh P: That was close! The Late Shuvit, I don’t know how you do a Late Shuvit. E: Uhhhh. E: You just… E: *Le sad* Nooo. P: Not quite. Not today. E: That’s two… P: This is it. P: OOOH!
E: NOOO! P: WOOOO! I win!
E: OOOOH!! P: I beat you mentally, physically, E: And emotionally! P: And emotion don’t worry about it. E: You beat my head, my brain, and my mind… P: My head, my brain, and my mind. E: It was a good game. P: It was a good one. OOOOW! P: I think that’s the worst ever
E: *Laughs* E: GOTEM! E: Well, Parker, if they wanna see what you’re doin… Where did they go for you? P: They can check me out at my YouTube channel Parker Games or Parker Plays on Disney XD every day at 9:30.com E: Every day, and that’s not even the time. It’s at 9:00 PM P: At 9:00 PM P: Well, thank you for having me Ethan super fun! E: Yeah this been super fun! P: I hope all of you don’t hate me (Never) EI hope I hate you. I hope they hate you (Bad Ethan!)
P: Me too, honestly. That’s gonna be the best E: See ya next time! P: We’ll see ya! That was fun! More! E: See you next time. P: Oh! See ya when you look in my… house… *Outro Plays* Oh! You’re still here… Seriously, you’re scaring me. Well, bye! 🙂

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