Mario: So uh, what do you want to do today? Rosalina: Well, we can always- (meowing) Mario: Jeffy, stop it! No cat piano today! Jeffy: But I wanna play my cat piano, daddy. Mario: Well, it’s annoying Jeffy. I don’t want you playing your cat piano. Jeffy: Well, can I sing a song? Mario: Wha- Sing a song? Jeffy: Yeah. Mario: No, Jeffy. You can’t sing a song. Rosalina: Aw, come on, Mario. He could be really good at singing. Jeffy: Yeah, Daddy. Just one song. Mario: Alright, fine, Jeffy. Just one song. Jeffy: 🎵When you’re sitting in a bush
And you feel something squish, diarrhea!🎵 Mario: Wha- JEFFY. Jeffy: 🎵When your sitting in the sun and you feel something run, diarrhea! 🎵 Mario: JEFFY STOP SINGING ABOUT DIARRHEA. Jeffy: 🎵 When you’re watching TV and your ass starts to pee, diarrhea! 🎵 Mario: JEFFY, STOP THAT! Jeffy: 🎵When you’re sitting on the remote and your ass starts to explode…🎵 (start ~epsilon) Mario: Wha- Jeffy: 🎵DIARRHEA!🎵 Mario: JEFFY, STOP SINGING ABOUT DIARRHEA! Jeffy: 🎵When you’re wearing a big hat and your ass starts to splat…🎵 Mario: Jeffy… Jeffy: 🎵DIARRHEA!🎵 Mario: JEFFY, STOP SINGING– 🎵Diarrhea, diarrhea, diarrhea! 🎵 Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh! Mario: You know what, Jeffy? I’m taking away your cat piano! Jeffy: But Daddy, don’t take away my cat piano! I want to play it! Mario: Stupid cat piano! Where should I hide it? In the pantry? Oh, behind the green beans! Yeah, he wouldn’t look behind that. Alright, yeah. *sigh* Jeffy: Why’d you take my cat piano, daddy? Mario: Because, Jeffy, you were singing about diarrhea. Jeffy: Well, I can do that without my cat piano. 🎵When daddy’s all mad
And his pants are full of shit, diarrhea!🎵 Mario: That’s it, Jeffy!
You lost your cat piano for a month! Jeffy: Well, how long is that, Daddy? Mario: 30 days. Jeffy: HOLY HORSE FUCK! Mario: THAT’S IT, JEFFY. GO TO YOUR ROOM! Jeffy: I’m gonna go throw my toys. Mario: It’s only gonna hurt you, Jeffy. Not me. *toys being thrown* My god… Rosalina: So where did you hide his cat piano Mario? Mario: Well, I hid it in the pantry behind the green beans. Rosalina: Oh, he’ll never think to look there. Mario: Yeah. (Jeffy being amgry) Jeffy: SCREW YOU DADDY! Junior: Uh, Jeffy, why are you throwing all my toys in my playroom? Jeffy: ‘Cause my daddy’s a FUCK and he took my cat piano! Junior: Well, why did he took your cat piano? Jeffy: Because I was singing about diarhhea. Junio: Oh… well, that sucks… Well, why don’t you go try to find your cat piano? Jeffy: ‘Cause he hid it, and I don’t know where it’s at! Junior: Oh, come on we can find it! The house’s not that big. Come on, lets go try to find it! Jeffy: Well, that’s a good idea, Junior! Let’s go! Junior: Okay, Jeffy. Where do you think your dad hid it? Jeffy: Well, I don’t know Junior, I have no idea! Junior: Well, let’s look under the couches or something. Come on. Lets look everywhere! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Junior: Uhh, is it under there? Jeffy: No. Junior: Ughh, ok, check the other one. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Junior: Is it under that one? Jeffy: No. Junior: Ok, lets go check the kitchen. Junior: Uh, no he’s not in the microwave. Is it down there? Jeffy: No Junior, it’s not down here. Junior: Uh, well, check the cabinets. No. No. Jeffy, is it in that cabinet? Jeffy: Uh… No. Jeffy: I’m not seeing it. *shattered plate* Ummm… No. *another plate* No. *Ok, third plate* I don’t see it, Junior! Junior: Uh… Okay, maybe we should look somewhere else What the– *wow such shatter* What was that for? Jeffy: ‘Cause I’m mad at my daddy! Junior: Oh, well… Maybe you should go ask your dad and see if he can give us some hints on where we could find it. Jeffy: Oh, okay Junior. Be right back. Rosalina: Mario, what was all that noise? Mario: Ugh, Jeffy’s just throwing a temper tantrum. Jeffy: Hey daddy? I’m sorry for singing about diarrhea. Mario: Well, it’s too late to say sorry, Jeffy. You’re not getting your cat piano back. Jeffy: THAT’S NOT FAIR DADDY! I WANT MY CAT PIANO BACK! WHERE IS IT! Mario: Jeffy, I hid it, and you’re not getting it back until a month goes by. Jeffy: Well, at least give me a hint, daddy! Mario: I’m not giving you a hint, Jeffy. Jeffy: Is it on the first floor, or the second floor? Mario: Je- Jeffy, I’m not giving you a hint. Jeffy: Umm, uhhh…oh! What about, how many letters does it start with? Mario: Wha- What? Jeffy: How many letters does it start with? Mario: One. Jeffy: Well that’s a good hint there, daddy. Oh oh, daddy! Tell me if I’m hot or cold! Mario: What? You’re cold, Jeffy. You’re cold. You’re cold. You’re cold. You’re cold. You’re COLD. JEFFY, WE’RE NOT DOING THIS. IT’S GOING TO LAST ALL DAY! Jeffy: WELL DADDY, I WANT MY CAT PIANO BACK AND YOU BETTER TELL ME WHERE IT IS. Mario: Jeffy, only me and Rosalina know where it’s at, and we’re not telling you! Jeffy: WELL FINE, DADDY! FUCK YOU! (oh jeffy) Junior: Ugh… Gotta clean up my playroom… (jeffy going amgry!) Jeffy: I’M MAD, JUNIOR. Junior: What’s wrong, Jeffy? Did your dad give you a hint? Jeffy: No. He’s said, oh, he and my mommy know where my cat piano is. Junior: So, you’re never gonna find it… Jeffy: No, I guess not. *Coolcid starts his engine* Junior: Well, what if there was a way that we could shrink down really small, and go inside your dad’s brain, and control him. And you could, like, convince your mom and tell you where it’s at. Jeffy: Oh, that’d be cool, Junior, but I don’t know how I’d do that. Junior: Well loo- well look. You can take this Mini Mushroom™ right here, and eat it, and it makes things really small. Jeffy: Oh, my peepee must’ve ate one of those Mini Mushrooms™. Junior: Oh. Well you eat it, you get really small, and you go inside your dad’s brain. Jeffy: Well how do I get inside the brain, Junior? Junior: Well, I could take a straw, and like spitball you into your dad’s ear, and you go inside his brain, and then control it. Jeffy: Oh, that’d be so cool, Junior. let’s do it! Junior: All right eat the mushroom! All right. *nom* Jeffy: Hey Junior! Look at me, I’m really small! UH! *pat pat pat* Junior: All right, so I’m gonna pick you up, I’m gonna put you in a straw, and I’m gonna spitball you inside your dad’s ear. Jeffy: Alright Junior. Rosalina: Mario, don’t you think a month is a little long to take away his cat piano? Mario: No, he needs to learn his lesson you stop singing about diarrhea. A month is plenty enough time. Rosalina: Okay. Juinor *muffled*: Alright Jeffy, are you ready? Jeffy: Yeah Junior, I’m ready! Junior: Okay. *ptooey* Mario: Ow, ow! Rosalina: Mario, are you okay? Mario: Y-yeah, I think something just, like, flew around my ear. I think it was a fly or something. Yeah, I think it was nothing. *brain sound* Jeffy: Wooooow, I’m inside daddy’s brain? I can make him do whatever I want now. Rosalina: So Mario, what do you wanna do today? Mario: I dunno, we can do whatever we w- UUUH! W- Rosalina: Mario, what was that? Mario: I- I dunno. I guess it was a cough- UH UH UH UH UH Rosalina: Mario, do you have something stuck in your throat- Mario: UUUUUUUHHHHH Rosalina: Oh my gosh! Mario *stuttering*: I don’t know what’s going on. Maybe I have a cough or something? Rosalina: Mario, what are you doing? Mario: I DON’T KNOW! I’M NOT DOING THAT- UUUH! UUUH! Rosalina: Why are you doing that? Mario: *rapid UUUH* Rosalina: Mario, STOP IT! Mario: UUUUUH Rosalina: WHAT’S GOING ON?! Jeffy: UUUH UUUH UUUH UUUH UUUH! This is so much fun! UUUH UUUH UUUH UUUH UUUH UUUH UUUH *Mario: heavy breathing* Rosalina: Mario, what is going on? Mario: I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T- UUUH UUUH UUUH UUUH Rosalina: Mario, are you sick or something?! Mario: I DON’T KNOW! I D- I HATE GREEN BEANS!!! Rosalina: No you don’t, Mario! It’s your favorite vegetable! Mario: N O O O O O O O Rosalina: MARIO, CALM DOWN! Mario: FUCK YOU, DADDY! PAYBACK, BITCH! I don- I don’t know what’s going on, CALL 911, IT’S NOT ME- UUUH UUUH UUUH UUUH UUUH- OH, OH MY GOD Rosalina: MARIO, BREATHE! Mario: U- I- IT WON’T STOP! I- Rosalina: STOP IT! Mario: I CAN’T STOP- Daddy, what would happen if- if I pooped my pants and I smelled it? – CALL 911! CALL- W- *oh, a hop hop hop* Rosalina: What are you doing? Mario: I DUNNO, I CAN’T STOP! *like a bunny do, and a hop hop hop like they always do* Jeffy: Daddy’s hop-hopping his ass off! *hop hop hop like a bunny-do and-* Rosalina: MARIO, ARE YOU DOING THE HOP HOP?! Mario: I DUNNO! I’M NOT DOING IT, I’M NOT CONTROLLING MYSELF! Rosalina: Here Mario, put your hat back on! Mario: 🎵When you’re in daddy’s brain, and your stomach starts to drain, Diarrhea!🎵 🎵Diarrhea! Diarrhea! Diarrhea! Diarrhea!🎵 Rosalina: Mario, I think you need to get some food! Come on, let’s go! Mario: Okay- UUUH UUUH UUUH Rosalina: Okay Mario, I’m gonna make you something to eat. Mario: UUUUUH Rosalina: Mario, why are you wearing a diaper? Mario: SO MY PANTS DON’T GET DIRTY Rosalina: Mario, why are you acting like this? Mario: UUUUUH! UUUH! *no shatter?* UUUUUH Rosalina: MARIO! Mario: UUUH UUUH UUUH UUUUUH *Rosalina: sigh* Jeffy: Okay, now I need to ask mommy where my cat piano is! Rosalina: Okay Mario, I made you a plate of green beans. *uh oh* Mario: I! HATE! GREEN BEANS!!! BLAAAH! *okay there’s the shatter* Rosalina: Mario, why are you acting like Jeffy?! Mario: WHERE’S MY CAT PIANO? Rosalina: Mario, you hid it behind the green beans in the pantry. Mario: UUUH DEUUH HEH GET IT FOR ME Rosalina: What? Mario: GET IT FOR ME Rosalina: O- okay, Mario. Mario: HHEEHHEEEHEEH- EHHHEEHEEH Rosalina: Okay Mario, here’s your cat piano. Mario: DEEHEEHEEH *meowing* Rosalina: Mario, WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO STRANGE?! Mario: GIVE IT BACK TO JEFFY Rosalina: What? *Jesus woman are you deaf* Mario: GIVE IT BACK TO JEFFY Rosalina: O- okay, Mario. Mario: DYEH GIVE IT BACK TO HIM Rosalina: Okay! Mario: A-CHOO! Jeffy: UUUUUUUUUUH Mario: Oh god… – wait wait wait, what happened here?! WHAT’S GOING ON?! WHY AM I WEARING A DIAPER?! Jeffy: Oh hey, daddy! Mario: JEFFY! WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?! Jeffy: Looks like you don’t like green beans, but um, I’ll be right back. Mario: JEFFY?! Rosalina: Jeffy… Jeffy, where are you? Jeffy: Oh hey, mommy. Rosalina: Hi Jeffy! Here, your cat piano! Mario told me to give it back to you! Jeffy: Oh, really? Rosalina: Yeah! Jeffy: Well, thanks mommy! Rosalina: Here, set it up, go play, maybe sing a song… Mario: I don’t know what’s going on-w- JEFFY! YOU HAVE YOUR CAT PIANO-You know what? That’s it, you lost it for TWO MONTHS NOW! Rosalina: MARIO, NO! You told me to give it back to him! You can’t just take it away again! That’s just mean! Mario: W- I DIDN’T TELL YOU TO GIVE IT BACK TO HIM! Rosalina: YES YOU DID, MARIO! STOP LYING! Jeffy: 🎵When daddy gets mad, and it makes Jeffy sad, Diarrhea!🎵 *diarrhea*