The Time Zack Morris Forced A Teachers Strike To Go Skiing


♫ Zack Morris Is Trash ♫ Lisa and Screech are studying for the Academic Bowl. Zack interrupts to
announce his brilliant plan to skip school Friday and
go skiing with Slater. Screech wants to come. Zack says he can carry his skis. But when Lisa asks how
Zack plans to skip school, this blonde mastermind
has no damn clue. Screech says teacher contract
negotiations are happening. And a speed bump could lead to a strike. Zack calls him a big
dork, and steals his idea. Mr. Belding’s wrapping up
negotiations with Mr. Tuttle, and Zack asks if he can
do a quick interview about the Academic Bowl
for the school paper. Then reveals his rouse out loud. “Then we’ll turn those comments
into a teacher strike.” In front of the one person on Earth who shouldn’t hear it. Zack gives loaded questions
about Bayside’s opponents, designed to evoke nasty
fighting words from Belding. The gang’s Bowl prepping, Zack barges in to put an
end to their learning. He asks Mr. Tuttle for a quote to use in an article about the negotiations. But first they need to queue
the tape past Belding’s quote. Then “accidentally” play
a heavily doctored edit of Zack asking about the teachers, spliced with Belding’s
now re-contextualized disparaging remarks. Zack’s audio fraud works. And the teachers go on strike. Now his peers are missing
a day of education. And the teachers are losing a paycheck. Zack pats himself on the back. Jessie asks how skiing was. Zack says it looked fun, but
he didn’t even go outside. Because who could have
predicted snow would be so cold. They ask where Screech is. Zack says he’s where
supposed to be, carrying the heavy shit he didn’t use. Screech collapses, hits his head and everyone but Zack
gets up to help. Screech got sick on the trip, but isn’t about to let that stop him from practicing for the Bowl. Zack hears the teachers
are close to resolving their non-existent issues, and decides to intervene
before they can resume educating kids for
barely enough pay to survive. Mr. Tuttle leaves Belding’s office, once again on good terms. And Zack stops him to
say even though they got improved pay and hours, they
should be asking for respect. He says until they get a break room and better parking spots, it’s clear as day no one respects them. Mr. Tuttle marches back and says he’ll see Belding on the picket line. Zack gloats about his strike. Belding says the strike
means no class, and no Academic Bowl. Zack’s friends who’ve sacrificed
to train for the Bowl, reprimand him for his careless actions. And Screech who has
so little to live for, breaks down in tears. Zack crashes a tense
meeting about the strike he manufactured and
announces he’ll read the solutions Belding
asked him to type up. Wink, Wink. Belding agrees to let the teachers use his office as a lounge. Belding will give up his parking spot, so the teachers are all
one space closer. Belding will use his annual bonus to pay for the faculty Christmas party. The teachers accept Zack’s terms that do nothing to significantly
improve their lives, and all come at a great
expense to principle Belding, he never agreed to. Meanwhile, the cold
Screech got on the ski trip took a turn for the worse
and hospitalizes him. The gang considers forfeiting, a notion Zack rejects as he canceled a perfectly good strike
for this dumb Bowl. The Valley team shows up and Zack, unable to handle being
taunted by nerds, says he’s going to join the team, just so he can kick their nerdy asses. Zack disturbs his friend in the hospital, while he’s trying to recover
from the illness he caused, and demands he teaches
him everything he knows. Screech is drifting in
and out of consciousness, desperately clinging to life. But manages to eek out one
single piece of knowledge. An acronym for remembering
the order of the planets. “MVEMJSUNP.” – Lisa says if Screech, in his delirious state
was coaching Valley, they’d be so confused, they’d lose. Zack ignores his dying
friend, and gets a great idea. Zack sends Slater to meet
with Valley to say he’s bitter his friends picked Zack
over him for the team. And he has damaging
intel he wants to share. It’s your classic reverse double agent, revenge misinformation
scheme to cheat at competitive learning. Slater says Screech taught
Zack everything he knows, and on top of that, Zack’s
specialty is football, so study up on only that one sport. The Bowl is not going great,
but Bayside’s hanging in there, no thanks to Zack, who
only answered one question, and got it wrong. Bayside picks the final category, and Zack chooses basketball. And because the nerds were lied to about only studying
football, they blow it. Zack even showboats, preventing his teammates
from buzzing in, so these manipulated nerds can publicly humiliate themselves. It’s all tied up and the final question is to list the planets in order. The only thing Screech taught Zack. And Zack squeezes it out of
his tiny brain, just barely. Then tells Belding he’s
having the after party in his office and he’s
going to wreck the place. Let’s review. Zack Morris used fraudulent
audio to anger teachers into striking without pay, just so he could go skiing, then didn’t even go skiing. But still made his best friend
carry all his heavy gear, causing him to get sick. Then preyed on teacher
insecurities to keep school closed. And when faced with losing
his few remaining allies, lied again to the
teachers at someone else’s physical and financial expense. And after sending his
friend to the hospital, only visited him to
harass him for knowledge to defeat some nerds, then used elaborate
subterfuge to cheat at competitive learning, and still only won
because of a hospital room information shake down. Zack Morris is trash. ♫ Zack Morris Is Trash ♫

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