Hello, everybody! My name is Markiplier… …and welcome back to the Try Not to Laugh challenge, …where I find the absolute worst videos on the internet… …and somehow laugh to them because I have no sense of humor! Also, before we get started, the tour tickets are on sale now! If you go to [markiplier.com] or click the link in the description below, …it’s also [markiplier.com]… you will see where we are touring, …what cities we’re going to, …and how you can get tickets right now. So…! Anyway, enough of that. Enough pandering! Enough self-promotion. Make me laugh! I dare ya! I double dog dare ya! Just do it already! *Music-“She’s a Maniac” and Harambe dancing* *Music suddenly stops* *Lip Smack* That gorilla had some…moooves. *roundabout plays* Don’t do this to me. *roundabout continues to play as “To Be Continued” meme arrow shows up* *weird mouth sound* Not funny. No. Don’t do this. Not again. *biork biork* Don’t do this…. I’ve been through this before… with the same dog. *”Stomp to My Beat” begins to play* *sneeze* *”Stomp to My Beat” plays* Alright, OK! *burning man screams repeatedly to beat* Okay, I don’t know… all right. It’s fine. you… you almost got me. I was PREPARED, ….but I was ready for it! I knew something was coming. I knew something was coming. *silence* *snickers* Don’t know why that almost… *snicker* We’re making the same face! No, not funny. I don’t know why. I don’t know why…! I don’t- I was… I don’t know why! I lowered my shields for a second there! I don’t know why… But that wasn’t a laugh. *goblin screams, as videos reverses like if the men are fixing the car with hammers* *inhale* *Markiplier Death Stare™* AHH, not funny! You think you can make me laugh. *chuckles* No. Male Narrator: How it feels to chew “5” Gum… Mark: If this is porn again, I’m going to be mad! *AAAAAAAA* *smack* Male Narrator: New “5” Gum. Male narrator: Stimulate your senses Tell me that was a LARP [live- action roleplay] session…! *battle madness flashback* You take your fedora… *chuckle* Obviously…
*soft piano music in the background* …and you… you… put… your thumb… like right there. And umm… Mark: Where you going with this? *soft dramatic piano music builds* Female Narrator: Euphoria… Calvin Klein. [them sexy fedora skills] Nope. *clears throat* Nope, I’m fine. *alligator hisses as he got sunglasses* *cameraman snorts* *Mark snorts after the cameraman* *breathes* Not a laugh! That was an exhalation of breath, not a laugh! Male Announcer: Everybody knows that kazoo-bie kazoos are some of the loudest in the world. *tooting something* Male announcer: But now we have the loudest kazoo you can get — the Kazoo-bie Kazobo™. *epic Banjo- Kazoo-bie music plays* All right, you’ve overstayed your welcome! You’ve overplayed your hand, Banjo…Kazoo-bie. Male Narrator: This is it. *soft piano music plays* This is what matters… …the experience of a product. *Mark snickers* How it makes someone feel… Will it make life better? Does it deserve to exist? *horse noise* Nope… Nuh, uh! I don’t know why I found that funny, either. Er, I didn’t, that’s the point of the video! *Mario music and Yoshi sound effects* That was adorable. Whoever made that is a goddamn genius. *”She’s a Maniac” plays* *man groaning, yelling and moaning, as if he was having sex* That one was called “CrossFit”! *coughs* *grunts* MOOOOM! *Japanese- よかった。*
(All right.) セットを取得…
(Get set…) 行く！
(Let go of your hold.) *Dragonball Z Teleport SFX* お前はもう死んでいる。
(You are already dead.) 何？！
(What?!) *explosion, as Mark almost gives up* *squeaking sound* *Heavy breathing* *Stifled laughter* AAHHHHhhhhh! Nooo… *Mark saying “no” 10 times* Does Samuel L. Jackson like anime? Yes, I do. Hentai, too. *short laughter from SLJ because that was a good pun* Cutie. A FOOOLISH samurai warrior WIELDING a… …shape- shifting master of Darkness… …WIELDING a magic sword… …WIELDING a FOOOLISH samurai warrior WIELDING a magic sword… Shut the… HHHHHHHHHHHHHHell up. Don’t you… don’t do that. Doooon’t do that! *singing* ..the money in the bag. Shawty what your thing… *CAT ANGER OR SOMETHING* *tries not to explode into laughter, with somewhat- successful attempts* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… ♪ NOOO!!! ♪ *hedgehog plays first notes of Green Hill Zone from Sonic the Hedgehog* *snort* Female Narrator: Glade plugins’ scented oil fans. Insane Clown Posse [ICP] member: It’s all around you, and you don’t even know it. Female Narrator: It’s the only freshner to use a continuous built-in fan. ICP member: It’s just there in the air! Female Narrator: Unlike some fresheners… Female Narrator: …throughout your whole room. ICP member: This shit’ll blow your motherfuckin’ mind! ICP member: Magic everywhere in this bitch. Female Narrator: Plug-in scented oil fan from Glade! Female Narrator: The- ICP member: -pure motherfuckin’ magic…. Female Narrator: …of fragrance. AHHHHHHHHHHHH… *wheeze* AHHHHHHH… no– *repressed gurgling sound* It’s so painful to keep those spasms in my chest! *Mark’s pain from keep his spasms under control* Whatever you’re about to do, don’t do it! *People behind the camera chatting* Cameraman: No wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! *crash as his balls get crushed, then falls into the water* Ahh, I told you not to do that! *IPL tune from a trumpet plays*
[the doggie try to go up] *Sound repeats*
[but he miserably fail] *failure messes with him* *quiet chuckling* *Silent laugh* *high pitched* AH, FUCK YOU! Ahh, no… *Trumpet sound repeats*
[watches again as the adorable Chihuahua fails miserably] *gives up* *high pitched* Ah, fuck! I almost made it! Ahhh, fuck! I almost made it!
AHHH… AHHH… FUCK!! Ahh, shit! Fuck… SHIT Ahhhh… It’s always the *gargles* doooooooogs!! dooooooooooogs *sighs* Alright… well, I lost. Girl: I’m gonna sing “Sherloid” by Sherloid… Oh… Rabekki Jeanate. *weird motion by that girl* And don’t forget all the trouble we got into- Mother- Why does somebody not know how to flush a toilet… …after they’ve had a… …SHET?! Girl: It wasn’t me… Mother: Well, it was FUCKIN’ one a yus? *ear-raping sound* DISGUSTANG!!! *gives up again, even though he already failed* *even more failure sounds* Ah… No, that’s hilarious. Cameraman: Taking your boat for a walk? *stifled laughter* *explodes into laughter* Ah! That wasn’t funny! That wasn’t even fu– I know I’m not doing the challenge anymore but goddammit, that wasn’t even funny! Male in video: I mean, I guess if the online were okay… “Hey, Zach..” What do you think is gonna happen? You think she’s gonna fly outta the back in a..a new sports ca- *men in video and Mark laugh, even though it wasn’t that hilarious* Man #1: This ends now, Croctor. Man #1: Gah-OH! Jesus Christ, it’s Jason Bourne. *laughing* *more laughing* Oh, god damn it I freakin’ love that meme. Ah, fuck. All right. I’m only gonna do one more, cause…I’ve already lost. *”Through the Fire and the Flames” by Dragonforce plays* *stops* *starts and stops as suddenly* *continues* *laughing* *sputters with each movement* *continues* *music reverses and stops* *music continues* *Mark laughing* (moar #girlymanscreams) *high pitched* I’M SO GLAD I DID ONE MOOORRRE…! *video repeats* Oh god… *Mark laughing* *Short Chuckle* I couldn’t even see it the first time..my eyes were closed! Ah, fuck… ah, god… I’m crying.. That..*laughing in between words*..was the beeeeest..! That was the BEEESSSSTTTT…. All right. Ahh, shit- Okay… All right, so that’s it for the Try Not to Laugh challenge. God, this was funny–I’m legitimately crying… …cause of the last one. That was so good. Aaahh, but anyways…*laughs again* sooo…. Alright, thank you everybody so much for watching. Let me know what you thought in the comments below. And if you want to see more of this let me know down there as well, …and remember! The tour tickets are on sale! Go to [markiplier.com], or look in the link in the description below that also goes to [markiplier.com]… *deep breath* …and see if I’m in your city, so thanks again, everybody, for watching. And also *laughs* as always, I will see you in the next– *something interrupts his outro* What the fuck!? ..and I will see YOU…in the next video. Buh, bye!